Work in Progress

Photo by Alicja Colon via Unsplash

Photo by Alicja Colon via Unsplash

  1. I haven’t completely abandoned hope.
  2. Every time I can look at my credit card statement without cringing is a victory.
  3. Figuring out medical insurance coverage gives me heart palpitations.
  4. Age is just a number that brings out so many feelings.
  5. I still have that one shirt in my closet that’s my “nice” shirt, so I never get to wear it.
  6. Whenever I feel like a failure, I pretend it’s an artistic choice.
  7. When people don’t like me, it doesn’t make me sad. I’m like, no, I get that.
  8. Friends regularly recommend that I go to therapy. It’s not a good sign, but it helps me narrow down my friends.
  9. Unintended eye contact is no longer frightening. I’m just happy when someone acknowledges my existence.
  10. Every time I see kids being kids, I want to tell them they’re doing it all wrong.
  11. Every time I see teenagers, I’m happy to be an adult.
  12. Every time I see someone else in their twenties, I want to ask them how we got here.

8 Things That Change After College

By Amanda Sandlin via Unsplash

Photo by Amanda Sandlin via Unsplash

  1. Binge drinking becomes alcoholism.
  2. Responsibility for your drunk friend becomes responsibility for a drunk dumpling with suicidal tendencies. If you’ve ever seen a toddler, you know.
  3. Slang becomes a marker of your age or a desperate attempt to stay relevant. Time to throw out my YOLO t-shirt and get ratchet in this bae. Is that a thing? I can’t even… Someone help me.
  4. House parties become dinner parties, which are great excuses pretend you’re an adult (as though you don’t wash all your clothes on a standard cold cycle and really do understand how to use your medical insurance).
  5. Pizza nights become instant extra inches in your waistband and lower self-esteem.
  6. Overnighters become sleep. Anything else is just not worth it.
  7. Hopeless romantics become hopeless because after college it’s exponentially harder to meet new people, except that time you hooked up with Jamie in Accounting during the office Chrismukkah party. And it doesn’t count.
  8. Roommates become significant others. Or cats. Sometimes they become cats.