How to Waste Away (And Be Happy About It)

By Vadim Sherbakov via Unsplash

Photo by Vadim Sherbakov via Unsplash

If you’re sitting at a 9-5 contemplating the meaning of life in between answering the phone, then congratulations on adult life. We made it. Sort of. With most desk jobs these days, it seems that companies have kept the long hours of yesteryear while ignoring the advents of technology. What realistically takes 3 hours, someone has given me an entire day to do. A sophisticated computer program could do my job. Which also begs the question of “why was it so hard to get this position?”

To avoid a downward spiral of depression, I turn to the internet. Luckily no one monitors what I do during the day, or I would have no idea how to pass the time. Really, no idea. When I’ve finished my work load, I’m chained to a desk. Should I complain? Probably not. It’s pure mahogany. Also, they’re paying me. Also, they might fire me. And I can’t get fired because I need money to fund the lifestyle I’ve chosen and the student loans I’m paying after buying a piece of paper with a university logo at the top that qualified me for the job that shouldn’t require any sort of degree. I think part of the problem is that I want a built in challenge to my job. I want to be learning, growing, and absorbing something new every day. That’s not happening right now, so I sift through Reddit.

  1. Reddit – Reddit is the forefront for internet trends. In fact, it creates trends. I don’t know how to illustrate this animal, so I defer: Reddit describes itself as “User-generated news links.” If you’re too lazy to read, go to Imgur.
  2. Imgur – Hosts images from all over the internet – gifs, memes, photography, etc… No greater way to accidentally waste three hours of your time. You’ll smile, laugh, sympathize, cry, etc…
  3. Buzzfeed – All the buzz is on Buzzfeed. They stay on top of what’s relevant in news, entertainment, and social spheres. It’s a fun and easy way to keep in touch with pop culture and trending ideas. Any Reddit user might get angry at me for saying so.
  4. Facebook – This gets us into the real life drama. FB keeps you up to date on who’s being racist, religious, or happily in love because we all know you have seven cats, are deep into astrology, and don’t see race (but, really?). Personally stalking old acquaintances can be fun. Maybe you care, maybe you don’t. Maybe they make feel better about your life or maybe all the pictures of European travel and sweet freedom make you cry at night.  Let’s be honest. In the event that it’s a downer (you never should have gone on Facebook), even out that empty feeling by going to…
  5. The BBC – Why? Because it’s not CNN. Reading about what’s going on in the world is a great way to put perspective on things. Right now the front page covers race riots, mass genocide, and soccer. Is that breakup you’re going through still looking so bad? Stay tuned next week.
  6. Pinterest – Reading the news may call for a pick-me-up. Pinterest is the best source of motivation. DIY projects, recipes to try, fitness motivation, you name it. No one’s trying to troll you on Pinterest… I think.
  7. Deadline Hollywood – The ins and outs of the Hollywood shuffle. Keeps you up to date of what’s buying/selling, what executive is moving where, and so on… Maybe it’s an ‘industry’ thing and no one in the outside world cares. On the other end of the spectrum try…
  8. Vice.com – Vice won me over with their HBO docu series. The writing can get a bit sardonic, but they their writers pick the most interesting subjects to explore. Some of their recent articles deal with Ukrainian Unrest, Polish Reggae, Professional Poo Divers, and How to Avoid Being an Exploding Corpse When You Die. Trust me, they won an Emmy. This shit is good.
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